Reasonable Words

“She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.” — W. Somerset Maughan

Why should he be?

Obama on Spot Over a Benefit to Gay Couples

Mr. Obama is in a tough spot. If he supports…denying [same sex partner] benefits to the San Francisco court employees, he risks agitating liberal groups that helped him win election. If he supports the judges and challenges the marriage act, he risks alienating Republicans with whom he is seeking to work on economic, health care and numerous other matters.

Risks alienating them? Roll the fucking dice, Barry. What’ll really happen? Hayseeds everywhere will think you’re a gay Islamic terrorist alien Socialist abortionist? Whip out a stack of Franklins and blow that political capital on coke and whores. Gay whores. Gay whores whose life partners deserve the same benefits ours do.

Is it lost on Obama that, owing to prejudiced laws like DOMA, his own parents wouldn’t have been allowed to marry in a third of our states until he was six years old? I don’t think it can be. I understand he’s pretty bright.

Gary L. Bauer, president of American Values, a conservative advocacy group, said that if Mr. Obama extended benefits to same-sex partners of federal workers, he would “provoke a furious grass-roots reaction, reinvigorate the conservative coalition and undermine his efforts to portray himself as a moderate on social issues.”

A “furious grass-roots reaction?” You mean like a “[S]econd American revolution” or something? Somebody call the cops (only hide the coke and gay whores first).

Fuck the bigots and fuck their votes. It’s 2009, and this is no less than a moral imperative.

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Filed under: Get Your Hate On, I Call Bullsh*t, That's F*cked Up, Welcome Change

“Not till God make men of some other metal than earth…”

"That I will faithfully execute faithfully the office..."

“…[T]hat I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States…”

Filed under: Things that tickle me, Welcome Change

It’s kinda like my old world, but significantly rocked.

The Huffington Post: The Simpsons’ New Opening Sequence

I imagine this is what November 4, 2008 was like for old white guys. Maybe I should be nicer to them now.

Nah, f*ck it.

Filed under: Geeking Out, The Idiot Box, Things that tickle me, Welcome Change

“A bad day,” recalibrated.

When everything starts spinning, I take comfort in a simple thought:

84716098AW002_President_ObaMy president is black.”

Filed under: IRL, Welcome Change

You know what?

democratic-socialists-of-america-symbolObama Calls for ‘Common Sense’ on Executive Pay

I don’t care if it is socialism.  There.  I said it. Besides, since when is it responsible to dole out welfare without a few rules attached?  If expecting “common sense” in return for billions of dollars and calling people out instead of turning a blind eye to a predatory, years-long orgy of greed is socialism, sign me up.

UPDATE: The fact that David Brooks is sneering so bitterly confirms that I’m on to something.

Filed under: Commerce, Welcome Change

Yeah, just leave your keys on the counter.

NYT: Our Love Affair with Shopping Malls Is on the Rocks

Okay, sure:

Before everyone heads past the Foot Locker and down the escalator to the Rainforest Cafe, the bride — a cherubic 19-year-old — leans against a wall in her billowy white dress and explains why she chose this spot for her big day.

Gratuitous sentences like the above are just the NYT hatin’ on Middle America. No argument there. But I still call the decline of consumerism’s gauche cathedrals great news. Great fucking news.

Filed under: Commerce, Welcome Change

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